By Russ Hill
I’m on my way back to the states after spending three days working in Asia. It’s been a brutal few days of jet lag as my body tried to understand why I have taken it to London, Washington DC, Phoenix, and Asia in the space of two weeks.
I’ll share more about the trip in the next few days but I’ve gotta talk first about something that happened in Asia.
Leading meetings in Asia is an entirely different experience from anywhere else in the world, especially America. In Asia, when you are running a meeting and you try to get the audience involved you are often setting yourself up for a big disappointment.
You ask a question or ask people to share their opinions and it’s totally common for them to sit there and stare at you. In total silence.
You ask the question again, and pause for a moment to give time for someone, anyone, to respond. And… they just sit there.
On my first trip to Asia this happened and I thought I had lost my touch. It seemed like I wasn’t connecting with the audience at all. But, over time I’ve discovered this is a part of the culture in most parts of Asia.
This time, during a series of meetings with dozens of leaders of a $3 Billion company I decided it was time to get to the bottom of why so few people spoke up during our lengthy meetings. So, I stopped the meeting at one point and asked, “can I ask you all a question – why do most of you never raise your hand or respond at all every time I ask you a question?”
Suddenly, half the people in the room raised their hands.
I called on a young man in his 30’s.
He said, “in our culture, we never want to respond with the wrong answer or say something that isn’t right.”
An older woman spoke next. “This is starting to change. Younger Asians are starting to talk more,” she offered.
Someone else said, “we are taught from an early age that it is better to be seen than to be heard.” She elaborated and said, “our elders teach us that it is more important to get things done than to speak up and share our opinions.”
Wow! Talk about a major difference between Asia and America!!
I’ve been thinking about that conversation on the long flights home.
It is better to be seen than to be heard.
We could all benefit from speaking a little less and taking a little more action.
At the same time, I’m glad to hear the culture in Asia is changing.
Staying silent out of fear that you might say something wrong can be paralyzing. Think of what that approach does to innovation!
Failure is the precursor to success.
I am so grateful for the leaders who have invested in me during my life. I have raised my hand so many times and said something stupid. I didn’t think it was stupid at the time. Most of the time I thought I was right.
The great leaders I’ve worked with and for have not criticized or humiliated me for speaking up. They have actually encouraged the behavior – even all those times I was wrong.
Most of my childhood I kept my hand down. I kept my mouth shut. I was paralyzed by fear of saying something wrong or looking stupid.
I grew up not wanting to be seen or heard.
But, that changed.
In the coming days I am going to share the story of the profound experience I had that purged me of that fear and helped me realize I had a voice that needed to be heard.
Everyone has a voice that needs to be heard.
So, raise your hand.